baKHAN: Once upon a time in India

Kachra can spin the ball, yet cannot be picked because the Zamindars and the Mukhiyas of the land do not approve of his caste. One man rises to open their eyes and after a long melodramatic speech, the people are miraculously transformed to a tear-jerking climax.

And while Aamir Khan could only have pulled it off onscreen, it takes the King/Dr./Lord Shahrukh Khan to do it in real life. It’s a different matter that he might have earlier retorted to Shobha De questioning his silence on 26/11 about how he’s an actor and not a person to opine on political matters, this time it indeed was grave. For it was cricket. It’s also a different matter that his upcoming film was banking heavily on overseas south asian audience....but then isn't co-incidence the only logical explanation too for lets say the sudden big bang or even perfect solar eclipses?

So it was only fair that the King Khan tweets (pun intended) his bold ‘Pakistani players should have been chosen’ statement. At first, you can’t help but appreciate his celebrated tongue in cheek witticism when he said that. Almost as ironical as his trying to look macho while saying ‘Mardo waali strong cream’ in a men’s fairness cream advert, for this was coming from a man who himself was part of the auction that happened. But that initial snigger is broken by the realization…’hold on…he’s serious?’

So he was. But where he’d have expected his mumbling to reach the other side of the border under the covering fire of cacophony of the governments fighting over the same, he seemed to get caught at the wrong end. Like that kid in school whose voice is just part of the classroom noise till without warning the class inadvertently goes quiet leaving his voice exposed. This is where the old dying tiger smells its prey which has mistakenly stumbled up right in its den. And the Thakreys rise from their deep slumber to pop their knuckles and crack their necks. What follows is an exchange of messages little fiercer than love notes where the media plays the messenger and the country nods its head left and right in the tennis match that follows.

The situation builds up to the notes of beethoven’s symphony#9 and as with its ending crescendo, Ruckus is created, police step in, and Mumbai is yet again put at war with itself to determine its identity. MNIK stands symbolic of this identity and the fight is now to save it from becoming the property of the goons. It finally releases amidst the chaos and ends up opening to packed houses across the country.

This is the happy ending. Our hero and the director celebrate the success of their film over champagne in their bubble bath, the new recruits of sena finally got a practical intro to their course ‘Tearing posters 101’, and the general public sleeps well after having ensured the success of the film in their fight against tyranny. This was easier than buying the Che Guevara T-shirts. This was rebellion delivered right at the doorsteps. That leaves just the Pakistani players, but they can always wait for the next IPL.

All is now well in this country.